What Were You Expecting??

When you are “expecting”…it is a BIG THING…literally. You feel as if you’ve swallowed a basketball. GULP! It is fun, exciting and nerve -racking. So many ideals, hopes and dreams foisted on that  basket-ball belly. What will my child be like? How will my child look? Like me…or am I just the incubator?? 9 months of mystical wonder and awe.

What I have learned is this: Expectations are what you make them. Some children are born with the heavy burden of fulfilling a myriad of these “E’s” for parents. Unfair categorically! My child will be a professional sports star…a movie actor…a beauty queen…take your pick. Whatever unfulfilled dream said parent had for their own life. When Autism is dx’ed then the “Great Expectations” must go. Kind of like a clearance sale. Bulldoze those out and accept NEW Expectations.

For families on the spectrum we know these new expectations will shift and change with every day. My son’s Autistic behavior did not present itself until his 3rd year. His language disappeared…and his self stimming behaviors began. I realized I could no longer expect things to be “normal” per say. We now had a NEW NORMAL. Shifting expectations was easy for me. Wyatt’s dad was not involved in our lives so I did not experience that pain a father feels. I know for men it can be a very hard pill to swallow. But, above all people I think men realize when you need to cut your losses.There are sports leagues forming for our kids. Baseball, Bowling and Karate are becomming very popular for ASD kids. Through these activities I hope father’s can move on and find that NEW Legacy.

The one you were’nt expecting! A legacy they can help create…Look at what  ex- Dodger Jim Gott does…http://www.edspec.org/index.php Life on the spectrum is a brand new world. Taking us away from so many superficial cares…things that the world has programmed us to expect. Years and years of messaging and selling people perfect imagery. An image of an UNREAL EXPECTATION!  How freeing it is to be released from feeling you have to live up to perfection. With my ASD glasses on I see so many people chasing and stressing and I am glad…for my new life. The one where I am no longer “EXPECTING”…Sure we will set goals and hope we achieve them…but, we accept our reality, work with it  and LOVE IT!! …What else are we going to do?? What will YOU DO??