…that need merging!
I recently came across an excellent survey asking Autistic adults to look back and “rate” their parents/caregivers on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 for the least supportive and 10 for the most supportive. As I read each answer with rating and explaination or just the rating alone. A strong trend was quickly and clearly seen. There was NO middle ground. There were several zero ratings a few 1’s and conversely there were several 10’s and either 8’s or 9’s. That says a lot. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised because, I do see that. In conversations between the trains of thought in the community. Two totally different tracks. Track A and Track B.
A not so great, divide.
Track A I will call: Track Autistic. This track loves, embraces and accepts Autism for all that it is and all that it isn’t. Track A passengers seek to learn and understand all that they can about the Autism A Train they proudly ride. They love and accept Autism at it’s core. Not separating it out (as if it were an egg yolk) away from “who there child is.” They do not blame the government, the environment or a higher being for it’s existence. They are not constantly hoping for cures, wishing it away….or worse! They learn from their children and learn from Autistic Adults. They put that information with the resources available to make the best possible outcome for everyone. They do not sympathize with people that oppress, disrespect and cause harm and death upon Autistic people. They seek to stop the media and others from using negative and oppressive language portraying Autistic people as burden’s, tragedies, people too hard and expensive to service, people unworthy of life. Their message of love and acceptance sends comfort to their children making them feel safe and able to thrive.
Track B I will call: Track Balk-tistic. This track loves, embraces and accepts their child apart from Autism. Track B passengers seek to understand all they can about what causes Autism and how they can get rid of it. They do not love and accept Autism at it’s core. They often separate it out from their child and hide it with shame believing they will be more successfully accepted that way. They sometime blame the government, environmental factors or other things as the reason their child is Autistic. They raise money annually to cure and track the origin of Autism. They “balk” at Autism being a natural occurrence in the population. They empathize and show compassion for caregiver’s that commit violence against Autistic people, blaming criminal actions on lack of services. Reinforcing the insidious unspoken belief that people with disabilities live unfortunate lives and would be better off not existing. They do not want to accept the information given by Autistic adults and discount their opinions. Their “balking” message that stops short and refuses to go toward full acceptance of Autism sends discomfort to their children making them feel anxious, damaged and unworthy. Unable to thrive.
Where on this scale of 1-10 acceptance do you lie? Be honest with yourselves about your feelings about Autism. About the diagnosis of your loved one. Think about your children and the adults they are becoming. Where will they rank you on this scale of acceptance, support and love in 5, 10 or 15 years? Is your advocating, fundraising and rhetoric about Autism accepting or a non-stop crusade for cure? Do your vibrations send love and acceptance or are they rigid with hatred, dread and the wish that Autism would disappear? These vibrations and energies are very strong even when you are not speaking the words. Autistic people are very tapped into energy and they understand and feel it deeply.
