Empathy, just how much should we have…?
Empathy. When are we too empathetic? When are we not empathetic enough? Is empathy based on pure emotion, complete pragmatism or, a delicate combination of the two? How do we compare, quantify and contrast the empathy we feel? What about the empathy other people think we should feel? Or empathy falsely evoked to gain control of people or property? People are exploited through empathy all of the time historically, and most certainly will continue to be in the future. People are judged on their empathy levels or their perceived lack of them, everyday. Who are the empathy police, these quantifiers of empathy? More importantly, why do we have them? Why do we need them? Too many questions about something so seemingly simple and pure. Something so black and white. Empathy.
Differing concepts of “black and white” thinking regarding empathy hit the community hard this past week again with yet another tragedy of pre-planned “care-giver” violence against an Autistic child. As we sadly witnessed the senseless attack of Issy Stapleton by her mother play out from across the country in Elberta, Michigan.
The pain felt by everyone was undeniable. Now some 8 days after the horror there is some hope. Latest UPDATE on Issy’s recovery here.
The concept of unconditional empathy is confusing for any mind be it an Autistic mind or a Non Autistic mind. People are actually under the misconception that Autistic people do not have empathy when in fact they often have it in abundance. It is just not overtly presented by choice or by other factors. When parents and care-givers resort to such depraved “behaviors” such as killing or setting out to kill a disabled person and then themselves…who gets the sympathy and empathy? 
Sadly , we see the victim denied importance in these all too frequent instances, with the reasonings for the attacks empathized over. Again and again commentary considering what this “attacker” did and WHY?? Many people post comments like: ” How do we know what this person was thinking and what they went through”? “We should not judge them.” Considering and empathizing what the attacker went through and not what the person clinging to life went through? Before, during and after the attack. Something seems skewed there. Like a backward reality. A reality that Autistic people and AutismHWY.com do not compute. Unconditional empathy for a mother’s murderous tactics in response to a child in communication crisis? The over riding sentiments messaging to the world that this poor woman (and others like her) had no services, no choice, no hope. To many that seems like the “empathy faucet” run amok. Continually tainting and poisoning the waters against Autistic people! Against their rights of existence.
Please TURN OFF Inappropriate empathy.
Too much empathy is not accurate, not human and not acceptable. We don’t have to walk in a killer or would be killer’s shoes to know what was done yet again is wrong. A very powerful post about that concept here by: Radical Neurodivergence Speaking. We do not need consider why such extreme measures were taken by Kelli Stapleton. Any reason that could be surmised or empathized over is truly irrelevant. There is no acceptable reason or justification for killing, trying to kill or pre-planning to kill someone you are entrusted to care for. Especially someone incapable of escaping such attacks. Turn off the empathy faucets for those lacking empathy for Autistic people. PLEASE, know when to say when.
