After the unprecedented 2016 presidential election a glass ceiling has been shattered here in the United States of America. Not the obvious gender based one that all attention had been trained upon. The ‘glass ceiling’ we refer to is an entirely new concept. The communication “glass ceiling” that has expanded greatly in 2016 and …as we have been saying all along, this entire great decade of change. We are living in the generations of complete and total plugged in communications. Just look at what our lifetimes have witnessed. In the last century our ability to communicate globally went from 0%————————————-100%.
Completely downloaded and connected!
With just the push of a button and the stroke of some keys…you can be heard and you can be read; LOUDLY and CLEARLY all around the world. What communication ‘ceiling shattering’ progress!! Progress we don’t seem to marvel at or even acknowledge because, it has become so ‘normal’ so common-place. Something that was once unheard of has become our everyday experience.
In this 2016 news cycle of social interconnectedness we communicate freely with the greatest of ease and at lightening speeds.
But do WE…really?
In today’s society we frequently see communications that are filled with disdain. Conversations that are unkind, extremely harsh, personally critical and beyond. People seemingly have less and less empathy in this fast paced entertainment and information driven society to be mindful and gracious. It is seemingly all about out doing one and other or having the final word. The art of communication has been lost. Many people spend time “branding themselves” and “messaging” their personal agendas instead of listening to one and other and enjoying authentic or caring human connections.
In this GENERATION of COMMUNICATION what better time and place in history for us to RE~BRAND those communicative styles. In Autism we have a responsibility to our culture to understand communication on levels that are as deep as the ocean. We cannot merely skim the surface and rush along as so many people seem to. Communications must be respected and reworked in most instances and through this process you find much more respect for the individuality of each person you interface with. In our fast paced lifestyle how often does this contemplation even occur? More and more we seem to witness people talking at one and other and in many cases not truly understanding who they are even talking to.
Melania Trump recently revealed that she wants to have a national conversation about this harsh style of communication in the world. Many people made a big joke of that by saying, “She should start at home with her husband.” There is some truth in that because, honestly we should ALL start at home within our own families. We can all be more respectful to our individual family members; ‘Autistic or Nautistic.’ More forgiving and respectful of our neighbors and those we meet and greet on a daily basis. Autistic people have shown us their extreme discomfort in conjunction with many of the so called “social norms” or ”ways of the world.” Listening to those discomforts and concerns will guide us to more authentic ways of getting our information, thoughts and feelings recognized. Let’s join the new first lady on her platform for respectful communication change!! AutismHWY hopes that kinder and clearer communication is ONE THING we can all agree upon as we move forward to 2020 visions…
A whole new era of COMMUNICATION through respectful understandings and kind gives and takes?!
Today isInternational Peace Day! AtAutismHWYwe are truly all aboutPeaceandRespect. Without understanding and respect for Autistic people of all ages at all stages we believe there will be a “peace delay.”
Thesoonerwe can allrespect Autismas a diverse way of being in life, the better. A way of being that requires new innovative human strategies for success! Ways to place us ALL on the peace train together!! Of course our PEACE…always involves pieces of CHALK and free expression! Love, Peace & Chalkto you ALL from the HWY!
On the AutismHWY there are always road signs even if you are missing them at first. There are rights of ways…and manywrong way: do not enter signs. They are something that must be considered, understood and supported respectfully before safe travels for Autistic people can really occur. You would never just hop in and start driving a car when you don’t know how to operate the vehicle or the HWY, would you? We know this preeminently here on the “Autism Highway.” Rules of the road keep us safe, sound and alive. If you don’t know and/or go against these ‘rules of the road’ things can go horribly wrong, and do! This is a perfect example of how “right and wrong” not only matter but, are a matter of life and death!
Understanding Autism from the inside out, is not widely considered gold standard… when many thinking people know that it actually could, should and will be. Too far ahead of the Autism learning curve is a hard place to be for those of us holding these pragmatic ideals. We believe that accepting the knowledge Autistic people have concerning the internal mechanisms they experience, IS THE NEW gold standard for Autism. Sadly, we live in a time where the majority of injustice revolves around people that cannot admit that they do indeed have things wrong.
Old systems that are not working, do die hard. Systems that were initialized before we had the wisdom of the Autistic experience to draw from, strive to maintain their old dominant message control. People that have built their frameworks for Autism supports from a body of knowledge that is in fact flawed are now extremely confused about their foundation and it’s direction moving forward. As we quickly approach 2017 shouldn’t we be busy utilizing the many words of wisdom from Autistic people? Shouldn’t we all be excitedly updating our data and creating new programs that lead to many NEW OPPORTUNITIES by co creating…
The community needs a complete overhaul OR maybe ten million urgent updates reminding us we have to progress to Autism 10 ?!
The division in the Autism community as we see it is about respect. It’s not a fight over who is right and who is wrong. It’s about respect for the Autistic person and their unique systems, voices and needs. The differentials between Autistics is as vast as anything else in life. Finding the comfortable approaches that work best for each person must be deciphered and accommodated in times of growth and regression throughout a lifetime. In the past society has relied on assumptions and the Neurotypical assessments of what “is presumed best” for Autistic people. That model has caused much damage and continued bewilderment. It’s time for a completely fresh approach. An Autistic one.
When we came on line in 2010 we did not seek to “talk over” or for Autistic people. We were looking for amazing opportunities to merge with Autistic people. We were seeking opportunities to learn from their astounding life perspectives and to partner with them as we speak truths on a global platform. Thankfully, we indeed have, to our great benefit and JOY.
That is why it is so hard to see people like Bob and the late Suzanne “Wright” co-founders of Autism Speaks using their power and celebrity influence to inform the world on the AutismHWY protocol without ever knowing the rules of the road or anything about the HWY’s drivers aside from their own young grandson. Organizations that demand they are doing the “right thing” before they even have a clue what that right thing is or even can be, do a huge disservice. Like the multitudes of Mommy and Daddy bloggers who’s child was diagnosed yesterday and have now written guides for others from no knowledge whatsoever…?? People really need to research, relax and understand Autism before they tell others what to understand. It’s just that simple. The vast majority of Autistic people have been dismissed and ignored for decades…while others non Autistic people wildly narrate their lives incorrectly. There is so much wrong in that big picture!
If organizations, “experts” and others seek to truly empower Autistic people through respectful supports then they must take real steps to make that happen. Working with Autistic adults to create understandings about best practice for Autistic children, by no longer talking over Autistic people as Autism authority. By planning conferences that FEATURE and COMPENSATE Autistic advice as gold standard and not as last minute add-ons or exploited infantilized tokens. Autistic people should be the centerpiece of the actual EVENT and respected as the vital citizens they are. Their knowledge can be used to transform the lives of everyone… once everyone is actively listening!! Now that mainstream can gain inside knowledge from many Autistic minds we can build respectful supports that will work within the Autistic grid and mindset. Things will become easier for everyone when the ideals and linguistics of Autistic people are recognized and processed correctly by NON Autistic people! Forcing Autistic people to communicate and work in ways that are not in harmony with their internal mechanisms must stop. We can respect our differing ways of communicating and other sensitivity differences by working to build these innerstandings respectfully. We believe wholeheartedly in this better way to merge neurotypical and atypical society with the Autistic way. Egos aside. If you are on the right side of respect…you can’t go wrong!
Much can be learned merging multitudes of mentalities foregoing ego while being accepting of extreme difference.
That life can be a beautiful equation of love plus respect that WILL generate an energetic flow of harmonic equality.
Over the last 6 years my non-speaking very vocal Autistic son has intermittently communicated some excruciating pain to me and to those within view of our lives moments. For some people I am sure it is quite astonishing for others possibly it is seen as horrifying. We have had all kinds of reactions and have had police and fire called outto check on “things” on several of these difficult occasions. My son’s pain is not pretty and or restrained for anyone. He let’s it all fly and that is exactly what his system dictates he do. Release the current pain with a large output of utter distraction. His own “Autistic Mosh Pit.”
A very human thing to do.
Non Speaking is not silent. Silence is not golden. Words are not always necessary. Things we should all be well aware of in 2016. Wyatt is always communicating to me and I am always receiving that communication. Watching, feeling, absorbing what I can see and sense. He has always communicated through his musculature from the time he was a very small boy. Never having the verbal skills to say NO (written about here) he has used the stiffening of his muscles to “show me” NO. It was the cutest thing to see a boy walk away shaking his stiff little knee in a resolved NO. Reading the signals loud and clear are what Autistic people are telegraphing to the people in their world and there are so many ways for non Autistics to fully listen. Unexpected and valid ways to hear golden truths.
When my son is happy and comfortable he is what one could call ’loose as a goose’…when he is in pain (hidden or discernable)…he tightens and stiffens and it becomes visibly clear that something is not flowing smoothly and he needs help. Comforting and supporting him through self injurious (pain management) is not easy. It is also not hard (when I myself and others do not ‘make it hard.’) It is necessary and it is indeed my job. A job I take seriously. A job that has zero to do with ME. I perform this job matter of factly in full focus to get it right for Wyatt, efficiently and respectfully. To honor and validate his pain and his full-on need to express it without asking him to restrain himself for the benefit of others. In those moments I am only worried about Wyatt’s benefit. What will help him?
Parents need to come to terms with the facts that make up their ‘loved ones system’ and what it needs to flow smoothly. Be it; deep pressure techniques, meridian and cranium tapping, massage, breathing pattern focusing, exercise, thought mantras, cool water drinking and pouring, Magnesium (Epsom salt) soaks infused with eucalyptus or lavender, Melatonin, Meat…whatever is needed for re-booting. If you are ‘tuned in’ to your loved one and read the many writingsand books writtenby first hand experiencers (Autistic people) you feel confident that YOU will be able to help someone in situations you have been led to believe: YOU would never understand. DARE to do what needs to be done wherever and whenever needed without concerning yourselves with what other’s may perceive or believe. You have one interest and that is the best interest of your loved one communicating to you their moments of intense pain.
This year’s 4th of July Monday included one of these explosive moments for my son and I. Autistic people do not enjoy senseless loud bangs and booms for days on end…(fyi)
While we were out in the community and in the car on our infinite AutismHWY Wy became extremely upset and needed his deep pressured tapping. Yes, it was a bit scary in the vehicle but, keeping calm, controlled and in focus are key. Above all understanding what is happening helps you to not assign fear and or panic, to a situation it need not be. Fear and panic are like gasoline and fire every time! After making it back home safely…we continued the ‘comfort work’ of de-escalating the painful situation through continued tapping, verbal validation and assurance, massage and cool water. After the painful system offenders subsided, self injury was assessed and addressed and from there we went on with our holiday.
Later, I spoke to Wyatt about how other people in the world do not understand his pain, YET. That we are at ‘high risk’ while out in the community when these painful and vulnerable moments occur. At risk of someone misinterpreting what is happening. At risk of real danger and confinement from officials in control. Officials in control without knowledge of the realities of Autism. He sobered intensely during this emotionally charged conversation I was so aware of his maturity and complete innerstanding.
Upon reading this some might say, ” how awful”…when I say, “How awesome.” My son has taught me how to help him regulate his irregularities without words. I have reached out to my Autistic friends and acquaintances to deeper levels and layers of understanding that Wyatt cannot impart to me currently.
If you ‘Google’ Autistics Speaking, you have to wait 30 seconds for: About 1,140,000 results!!
Please do not look for those seeking to be your “gurus” in order to do what you as a parent know needs to be done. Reach out and place 100% full focus on your Autistic loved one and 0% focus on what others think and feel about Autism. 100%~0% I love that ratio!
After our fire-cracker of a day we decided to go deep with the inner-work and leapt into some Art therapy. Something Wyatt doesn’t always enjoy but, as you will see in the pictures he attended to it ‘his-way’ which is peripherally. With his side focus he placed the tape and paint exactly where he wanted to… He was very intent on taking our red white and blue color frame to PURPLE. I praised his color blending techniques using our countries red and blue, clashing it into purple. I find it very profound especially when all weekend I was thinking of America in a state of Red, White and Purple…bruised, battered, self injured and needing a fresh NEW self regulated re-boot! So intuitive my youngest son. When all was said and done and the tape came off. He revealed his one of a kind piece of ART. This unplanned and amazing Star!!
A one of a kind unplanned and amazing STAR! Hmmm….Yes, EXACTLY !!