REMEDY that by UNPUZZLING AUTISM naturally!
A “funny thing” happened to me on fb the day after watching the UPLIFTING worldwide Women’s March of 2017…
I had the “unmitigated balls” to react with honest feelings to this snarky meme posted on that day by an old high school friend. How dare I… not laugh.
Friend XY is one of few I really respected during high school years and I have actually grown to respect him more since reconnecting all of these years later. Exactly why I felt the need to point out to him just how problematic I have concluded this type of “humor” is and has always been. Damaging in ways embedded so deeply in our collective psyches that many of us do not see or even want to see, that there is a soul crushing problem with this rude… ’old school’ mindset. A mindset that in today’s language ridicules people as sensitive snowflakes.
When I was growing up my Dad was a huge XY influence on me. His words and attitudes shaped so much of who this XX girl became. He was born in the early 30′s and grew up in the 40′s and 50′s. He was a man from another space and another time. A time where boys were often violently made to “man up.” I can only imagine the brutality many witnessed and survived and/or didn’t. As a young girl of the 60′s and 70′s I remember feeling an actual relief that I was not a man. So much brutal pressure from the world on your shoulders telling you to be a certain way and to accomplish above all others. I knew I could not endure that kind of pressure and control. All of the boys were told to bottle up their feelings and emotions. To not be a sissy because, you had to grow up to support a family or possibly die for your country one day. Wait, what? I felt sad for my two brothers in that sense. As a girl I felt free to feel and express what I was experiencing. No one told me I couldn’t show emotion or that I had to hide it in order to not be seen as weak. Which in fact made me strong however, I was messaged the female signal= I should watch my figure or no one else would. Which chips away at the strength I did grab, even today at age 55.
That disparity in gender value was telegraphed so starkly back then. It was palpable and finite. Women and girls were this and men and boys were that. Power and control. Adults bullying and shaping us all while we laughed and or cried or just plain put up with it. The “normal” and systematic shaping of our souls and gender-personas was routine. Grabbing us by our little ‘private psyche parts’ and demanding we live up or down to them depending on the point of view held. Stark and daunting messaging funneled into us from everywhere we looked and more to the point from those that loved and cared for us. Be this, be that, don’t do that, do this or you will be ridiculed by others, shunned at school, in social circles OR the fate worse than death; considered a failure in the “eyes of the world” living a life all alone. A “loser.”
All of the ways to take the natural wonder and joy out of the human heart and soul filling it with pressure, insecurity and fear.
WHY have generations brutalized those they hold near? To funnel a person’s unique genetically coded autonomy into some sliver of acceptability it may or may not fit, is truly against being human. Just take a moment and take a look at this impotent display of prowess. (I do more and more everyday!) Who controls who and who controls the how and the why of the who? Yes, we want people to be given all of the support, tools and education in life to be as healthy, happy and successful as one possibly can. The days of this brutal psychological steering of people -to ignore their instincts and instead be something that others expect from them- has to stop. We need to support the natural emergence of souls by not forcing them into the competitive shape of what we desire.
My family spent a lot of time at the ball parks every spring and summer. Dad coached my softball teams and my brother’s baseball teams. I was his official scorekeeper and cheer-leader. One year he did something we all laughed about… (back then.)
He was a great sportsman and his main coaching tactic was an uplifting one. He knew when someone had the talent/desire to become a great player and he coached those players to get there. I often tell people he coached me into an all-star softball pitcher by pumping me up like a bicycle pump …(possibly why high school Friend XY and others perceive me as ‘full of hot air’!) This particular off-season league I am remembering he teamed up with his younger and meaner brother as base coach. Between the two of them they came up with the idea of the “Team baby-doll Award.” A literal dolly they brought to the field tied up to the chain linked fence of the dugout and awarded to one player after each game. The player that they deemed acted ”baby-like” during the game. In other words the player that didn’t “grow a set.” That player would have to take the dolly home and bring it back to the next week’s game. Hahahaha. Funny. Right? NO. Not so much. Humiliating and disgusting.
My dad died in 1985. He didn’t get to stick around to see the harmful effects of baby-doll awards, bullying and emotional shaming. I sadly never got the chance to tell him about this particular “teaching moment.” The subtle and not so subtle restrictions we have been trained to place on each other’s emotional autonomy; to be a good and pretty girl or a tough and rugged ‘winner at all cost’ boy… need to stop! Kids of the last 3 decades are now dodging bullets because people just cannot keep-up with the pressure in a world so vastly different from where we have all come. Enough of this old-school psychological warfare infused with this fast paced media driven existence. Deciding that someone’s autonomy is not tough enough or good enough is not your call to put on blast. Don’t shame or blame people for displaying honesty about who and how they are. Don’t dismiss another person’s coded nature. Don’t demand they man or woman up. Don’t grab them by their private psyche parts and assault them into what you think they should be. Please don’t propagate it by making it into your comedy because, it’s really not funny.
Let’s all just emotionally FREE BALL it from here on out to level the playing fields in life.
Here on the AutismHWY we often times find ourselves in the Autism fast-lane. Researching and focusing on the information that Autistic people share about Autism has placed us there. Understanding how Autism operates in an individual’s human system is how we feel safe driving in that “fast lane.” How we want all others to feel. It is how we cope pragmaticly and how we move forward in a world long confused by how to respectfully communicate with every type of diversity. Autistic people are here to guide other Autistic people and the larger world…
On this day, January 20th, 2017 as a new President is sworn into these United States of America we are willing to make a very bold and provocative prediction. Even as the Daily Beast reports that the White House website made disheartening civil-rights deletions today. AutismHWY.com still knowingly believes that President Donald J. Trump will indeed be “trumped” with Autism information provided by Autistic people. During his administration he will find that he needs to interface with #actuallyAutistic people to fully face the diversity picture. It will be a momentous thing… in a brand new word, it will be UGE. The private citizen Donald J. Trump had been commenting on the vaccine controversy for years and has in fact sounded very much like an Autism stakeholder. During the Presidential debates he referred to Autism as an epidemic ( seen here.) Words and beliefs he certainly shares or shared with his friend Bob Wright the Co-Founder of Autism Speaks the Autism organization furiously boycotted by Autistic people. Misinformed core beliefs about Autism and it’s history fueled by the lack of experiential knowledge of, or friendships with Autistic people are frankly extremely dangerous. Autistic people will fight for their civil rights and voices to be heard. Be ready President Trump.
We respectfully ask for any future misguided comments regarding Autism to cease Mr. President as you now are indeed an Autism stakeholder as the leader of a nation founded on free thought. Do not over think things for Autistic people because they are right here watching what you do and say about them. Please do not create any commissions touching on Autism with out the Autistic community. Seek out their counsel on their issues. Their points of view will change the world in ways we ALL desperately need.
We respectfully ask that you not gather Autism information from skeptics and critics and instead go straight to the source. Autistic people and those that respect Autism understand just how dangerous linking vaccines to Autism is. It is in reality a life or death matter on a plethora of levels. Horrific levels of bigotry, violence, abuse and harm caused to Autistic people sometimes due to anti-vax Autism rhetoric. Not to mention the public health crisis the world could experience from exposure to disease through ignorance powered by hatred and fear of Autism and vaccines. Those mainstreamed negative belief systems surrounding the “supposed causation” of a naturally occuring Autism population will shape some very scary and life threatening policies. Policy that will further entrench us in yet more of the same Autism ignorance, hatred and stigma we’ve experienced for decades. We will no longer continue to tolerate society’s propensity to avoid science and factual information by replacing it with the myths of pop culture.
Today’s inaugural address was said to be for the “ignored and forgotten people that will be ignored no longer.” Mr. President, Autistic people will not continue to be ignored and denied their natural human existence. They will not sit back and accept the world to misrepresent them and the supports they need to live a happy and healthy Autistic life. Autistic people will be and should be the voices crucially included to set precedents by helping us shape respectful communication and research towards best Autism practice for our nation and the WORLD!
We agree the time for empty talk is over! You spoke those very words today…
RESIST FAKE AUTISM NEWS…Mr. President and THINK FAST…Because Autistic people ARE!!
Today, Martin Luther King Day in 2017 feels odd. As if this great day of reverence and respect should not occur in such a climate. This daily political climate change that is shifting our grid on the world axis in dangerous ways. Our United States of America may possibly be as divided as they were in 1861. There is now an active civil war on civility. People wanting to be respected as the unique one of a kind individuals that they are… free to live in a loving world. Verses a world that seeks to marginalize and control them using selfish actions. The macrocosm to the microcosm we experience every waking moment in the world surrounding Autistic people. Power and control over self-autonomy should never be on anyone’s political bargaining table. The progress we have made in society as loving and accepting diverse souls seems at risk in the face of a Donald J. Trump presidency. Losing heart and soul will not “Make America Great Again.” respectfully.
Things have become so heated politically that bullying, disinformation and hatred are becoming the daily credo. The rest of the world is on high alert because of this extreme unrest highlighted by wildly uncivilized communications. Never have we seen such disrespect for our own country coming from the man who will hold the highest office in 4 days. DJT has propagandized that the USA is a horrible place to be and live. That was never true. The United States is a land of beauty filled with amazing people.
Why then would a billionaire with unlimited choice of desirable location at his disposal… remain in a country so broken? He has told us over and over that America was not great and that the American Dream was shattered. He has also informed us that he can be the ONE to restore that status.