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We can go there!!!

We can go there!!!

We love this word at ! It is precisely what we have been wanting! All roads leading to understanding of AUTISM. No more traveling alone in the dark. Instead a complete sunrise of Autistic information coming to light. Not the tired and isolating bombardment of so-called Autism facts that have been repeated from the past. But, a NEW convergence of Autistic people and their families with differing opinions about the seemingly obvious. International internet discussions #hashing it out so to speak!  Not the same old rhetoric brainwashed into people through lack of Autism knowledge, fear and/or oppression. A new look at Autism through the experiences of Autistic people discussed with mother’s, fathers and teachers of other Autistic people. Families and friends understanding more deeply what these shared opinions, experiences and emotions can teach us to better support future generations. What benefits we all gain from these experiential thoughts about relationships that can and do resolve and relax many “issues” surrounding Autism for us. Going to the core and source of a thing is a powerful place to go.


Listening to Autistic voices about Autism...priceless.

Listening to Autistic voices about Autism…priceless.


It is not an easy transition. Learning, carefully considering, and accepting a whole new dimension to the world you already know is a monumental thing. Monumentally life changing for you, your child and family. It is not an easy learning curve and can sometimes seem harsh. The clashing of presumed beliefs with the eye opening beliefs of others can be shocking and at first, evoke extreme dismay. Rocking the proverbial boat of beliefs is not always safe and feeling safe is one of the most important human needs. Utterly essential for Autistics. Throughout history, great change has never been safe. Wars between countries over rights to land, race and religion will undoubtedly never cease. The change we seek within the Autism Community should not feel like one of these eternal wars among countries. That is not safe space for any of us. We seek a safe haven within our own families first and foremost. We also seek this stability in our schools and communities rippling from there out into every society. Our world needs to be a world of practical understanding and grace allowing the freedom to proudly be who we are in a neurodiversly aware society.  AUTISTIC PEOPLE are an emerging culture with rich history and amazing information to share. If we don’t tap into our own best resource internally as a community …then who else will? We must lead by example!








Let’s realize we are much more powerful  respecting Autistic adults opinions and experiences. The Parents in the community need to fight for the Autistic perspective to help re-vamp all systems in every community! Parents need to spotlight and promote Autistic adults within our Autism networks and support systems. We firmly believe a systematic engine overhaul is needed in order for everyone to handle their own unique AutismHWY clearly and safely!  The driving force of new information must come from within the heart of the machine itself. From:Autistic minds. Let’s tap into this awesome, highly vibrational and sometime combustable energy. Allow Autistic adults the opportunities to tune-up and rebuild the correct Autism messages for the rest of the world! When this happens we will truly be off to the”proverbial races!”





                                                        We can do it…!!!



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No Middle Ground

...that need merging!

…that need merging!

I recently came across an excellent survey asking Autistic adults to look back and “rate” their parents/caregivers on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 for the least supportive and 10 for the most supportive.  As I read each answer with rating and explaination or just the rating  alone. A strong trend was quickly and clearly seen. There was NO middle ground. There were several zero ratings a few 1′s and conversely there were several 10′s and either 8′s  or 9′s. That says a lot. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised because, I do see that. In conversations between the trains of thought in the community. Two totally different tracks.  Track A and Track B.

A not so great, divide.

A not so great, divide.


Track A  I will call: Track Autistic. This track loves, embraces and accepts Autism for all that it is and all that it isn’t. Track A passengers seek to learn and understand all that they can about the Autism A Train they proudly ride. They love and accept Autism at it’s core. Not separating it out (as if it were an egg yolk) away from “who there child is.” They do not blame the government, the environment or a higher being for it’s existence. They are not constantly hoping for cures, wishing it away….or worse! They learn from their children and learn from Autistic Adults. They put  that information with the resources available to make the best possible outcome for everyone. They do not sympathize with people that oppress, disrespect and cause harm and death upon Autistic people. They seek to stop the media and others from using negative and oppressive language portraying Autistic people as burden’s, tragedies, people too hard and expensive to service, people unworthy of life. Their message of love and acceptance sends comfort to their children making them feel safe and able to thrive.


Track B I will call: Track Balk-tistic. This track loves, embraces and accepts their child apart from Autism. Track B passengers seek to understand all they can about what causes Autism and how they can get rid of it. They do not love and accept Autism at it’s core. They often separate it out from their child and hide it with shame believing they will be more successfully accepted that way. They sometime blame the government, environmental factors or other things as the reason their child is Autistic. They raise money annually to cure and track the origin of Autism. They “balk” at Autism being a natural occurrence in the population. They empathize and show compassion for caregiver’s that commit violence against Autistic people, blaming  criminal actions on lack of services. Reinforcing the insidious unspoken belief that people with disabilities live unfortunate lives and would be better off not existing. They do not want to accept the information given by Autistic adults and discount their opinions. Their “balking” message that  stops short and refuses to go toward full acceptance of Autism sends discomfort to their children making them feel anxious, damaged and unworthy. Unable to thrive.


Where on this scale of 1-10 acceptance do you lie? Be honest with yourselves about your feelings about Autism.  About the diagnosis of your loved one. Think about your children and the adults they are becoming. Where will they rank you on this scale of acceptance, support and love in 5, 10 or 15 years?  Is your advocating, fundraising and rhetoric about Autism accepting or a non-stop crusade for cure? Do your vibrations send love and acceptance or are they rigid with hatred, dread and the wish that Autism would disappear? These vibrations and energies are very strong even when you are not speaking the words. Autistic people are very tapped into energy and they understand and feel it deeply.


More deeply than most people care to know. Be a 10 and jump on Track A!

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Knowing When To Say When

Empathy,  just  how much should we have...?

Empathy, just how much should we have…?


Empathy. When are we too empathetic?  When are we not empathetic enough? Is  empathy based on pure emotion,  complete pragmatism or, a delicate combination of the two? How do we compare, quantify and contrast the empathy we feel? What about the empathy other people think we should feel? Or empathy falsely evoked to gain control of people or property?  People are exploited through empathy all of the time historically, and most certainly will continue to be in the future. People are judged on their empathy levels or their perceived lack of them, everyday. Who are the empathy police, these quantifiers of empathy? More importantly, why do we have them? Why do we need them? Too many questions about something so seemingly simple and pure. Something so black and white. Empathy.


Differing concepts of “black and white” thinking regarding empathy hit the community hard this past week again with yet another tragedy of pre-planned “care-giver” violence against an Autistic child.  As we sadly witnessed the senseless attack of Issy Stapleton by her mother  play out from across the country in Elberta, Michigan.

The pain felt by everyone was undeniable. Now some 8 days after the horror there is some hope. Latest UPDATE on Issy’s recovery here.


The concept of unconditional empathy is confusing for any mind be it an Autistic mind or a Non Autistic mind. People are actually under the misconception that Autistic people do not have empathy when in fact they often have it in abundance. It is just not overtly presented by choice or by other factors. When parents and care-givers resort to such depraved “behaviors” such as killing or setting out to kill a disabled person and then themselves…who gets the sympathy and empathy?  scales_of_injustice300Sadly , we see the victim denied importance in these all too frequent instances, with the reasonings for the attacks  empathized over. Again and again commentary considering what this “attacker” did and WHY??  Many people post comments like: “ How do we know what this person was thinking and what they went through”? “We should not judge them.”  Considering and empathizing what the attacker went through and not what the person clinging to life went through? Before, during and after the attack. Something seems skewed there. Like a backward reality. A reality that Autistic people and do not compute. Unconditional empathy for a mother’s murderous tactics in response to a child in communication crisis? The over riding sentiments  messaging to the world that this poor woman (and others like her) had no services, no choice, no hope. To many that seems like the “empathy faucet” run amok. Continually tainting and poisoning the waters against Autistic people!  Against their rights of existence.

Please TURN OFF Inappropriate empathy.

Please TURN OFF Inappropriate empathy.


Too much empathy is not accurate, not human and not acceptable. We don’t have to walk in a killer or would be killer’s shoes to know what was done yet again is wrong.  A very powerful post about that concept here by: Radical Neurodivergence Speaking. We do not need consider why such extreme measures were taken by Kelli Stapleton.  Any reason that could be surmised or empathized  over is truly irrelevant. There is no acceptable reason or justification for killing, trying to kill or pre-planning to kill someone  you are entrusted to care for. Especially someone incapable of escaping such  attacks. Turn off the empathy faucets for those lacking empathy for Autistic people. PLEASE, know when to say when.



 These attacks are a horror when they occur and another horror when the empathy piles up on the wrong side of the attack.

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The New Scarlet Letter?


Silke Heyer's hand painted scarf back-dropping empowerment!

Silke Heyer’s hand painted scarf back-dropping empowerment!



The other day I came across a post where a Mother claims she will never refer to her child as AutisticThat he is more than that stigma and hopefully one day that will change.

People say all kinds of things. Over and over, again and again. Is it a type of thought “brand messaging” or, is it straight brain washing? Whatever you want to call it. It can be damaging to the way a person (a society) is conditioned to think and react.


We have all heard the old adage; if you say something long enough it becomes the truth. Even if it never was. Scripts people compose serve purposes, especially when seeking to control and domineer others perceived to be different. This is an insidious way to behave. Even more insidious is that this behavior is seen everywhere when you really look, in small ways and in very big ways. The running script concocted for Autism in particular has been way off of the mark. I for one, am sick of sticking to it.


There are scores of Autistic adults with powerful things to say about rewriting that bad script the world has been handed. They work passionately for a more complete understanding of these different Autistic and valid ways of being.  We as a community could use a new script for the so-called ‘mainstream’ world. If we had our way here at these would be a few of the new head script writers: Ibby Anderson-Grace, Nick Walker, Kassiane Sibley, Amy Sequenzia ,  Alyssa , Paula C. Durbin Westby, Zach Richter, Michael Scott Monje Jr., Emily Page Ballou , Lydia Brown, Ari Ne’eman, Jane Strauss,  Matt Young , Judy Endow  and many others I will CONTINUE TO LINK here by name.






Why hope for the ableist status quo to just go away one day and in the mean time continue following their restrictive bad script? If “they” say Autistic is the big “A” word and no one will allow a son or daughter access to the real world with the word Autistic attached to them. Why not improvise? Why not strive to change that? Why should we just accept someone else’s oppressive script or tag concerning the word Autistic? Concerning Autistic people? When schools of thought aren’t that intelligent shouldn’t we deviate? Educate? The people that have decided the word Autistic is the big “A” word are not that informed, truly. “My child cannot have that word associated with them. People won’t see past it. Until things change, I will just whisper it to you that he or she is on the Spectrum.”

Is AUTISM equivalent to a "Scarlet Letter"?

Is AUTISM equivalent to a “Scarlet Letter”?

People are still looking past Einstein’s Autism. How about Isaac Newton’s or Nikola Tesla‘s, how many other’s past, present or future ? The Autistic mind is essential to technology. It always has been. So why are people afraid to be associated with the word Autistic? Why has my son’s condition been made into a dirty word to some people? I truly don’t understand. 1016226_10151498480143461_1259390007_n


How does that attitude help, coming from a parent advocate? Someone, who is supposed to be an ally. If we ourselves, whom live with Autism everyday in our amazing children and wonderful friends are afraid to say the BIG BAD ”A” WORD out loud….well then, call me a monkey’s uncle. Will anyone else? Will the people in society allow us to be considered something more than a 1 trick pony Rain Man? Autistic people and allies  need to break down those barriers that were built divisively against us. Familiarize people unfamiliar with Autistic ways and (comfort zone) means. Definitely, don’t continue to demonize the very word Autistic adults use everyday in reference to themselves. Can we please all agree on that and realize we must work together to shift the negative stigma that has been bestowed upon our lives? Can we be the change we want to see…?


Not just waiting for somewhere over the SPARKLY RAINBOW!


“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter”~Dr. Martin Luther King


YES, Yes we do!

YES, Yes we do!




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