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Against the Grain

kev, wy and redwoodwood heart“Going against the grain”: Idioms and Autism go hand and hand we have all discovered that at one time or another. When you have subsets of people viewing the exact same concept (or group of words) in differing fashions so much gets lost in the literal and figurative translations…


Natural things have a way of being. A grain, a flow, a natural sequence of energy. Patterns that can be seen again and again and for the most part can be relied upon. When we deviate from those patterns, those natural “grains” we disrupt a certain order in our universe. We splinter.




Modern man it seems has always felt that ’his’ order should be supreme. Often times splintering against natural grains. Creating infrastructures and setting up man-made orders and patterns. At times arrogantly deciding that humans know better than nature. Transforming natural grains into forms more palatable for the desire du jour. To those of us that respect the natural world this is a shame and a crime against the very thing here to support us. Our natural environment, the universe: our grain. The world is full of rhymes and reasons that make complete sense to the natural order here. The balance of respecting that order is not always priority in all of the big ideas humanity has employed. Big egos harnessing aspects of the universe for ”mankind’s” greater good has been a tremendous tightrope act. Many oooos and awwws and at the same time many dastardly and unthinkable, oh nos.



Just how much man-made order should humanity impose on the natural world? In the world of Autism going against the natural grain of an individual was and is standard practice. All of a person’s Autistic instincts were and are (sometimes) still deemed invalid and in need of erasure.  Sadly, people born with this neurology and conjoined physical coping traits are branded in the worst possible ways. Setting up physicians  and psychologists to label, cure and rid the world of such an ‘unnecessary population.’ This is where the soulless arrogance of humanity made and continues to make despicable mistakes: deciding who is and who is not, a natural and complete human being. Splintering our own humanity by going against natural grains.



The universe is not ours. We are merely residents that must respect the natural order of our planet. We are at our universe’s mercy. So why is it so hard for humanity to respect the natural energy of the amazing life forms here on our unique planet? Why must a “normal model” be held up for all others to adhere to? That is preposterous! The natural grains and flows of our uniquely coded  selves deserve to be respected. Especially since learning through amazing scientific advancements that each and every person has a one-of-a-kind DNA code. Their own natural grain to flow with.


Natural and undeniable proof positive that there is MORE than just one way of being uniquely human.



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Super Autistic

sticker IA

My son is ” super Autistic.” I actually love the sound of that! Super Autistic! Like a comic book character leaping problematic sensory situations while absorbing a chaotic planet daily.


In all reality that is what he does. What many, many Autistic people do to the consternation of others globally. In 2015 he still lives in a world where his joyful outbursts startle and confuse people, where his pain and discomfort startle and confuse people. He still lives in a world where his lack of verbal language startles and confuses people. He still lives in a world where people dismiss him and become startled and confused when they realize he is actually listening to them. He lives in a world so low on Autism insight that it startles and confuses his mother and many others, DAILY.



When will the world work on it’s Autism respect and I.Q. levels? When will parents stop focusing on their pain? When will society take real steps toward learning what Autism is, what it means and how to support it as a natural part of humanity?



People seem to always seek out books written about Autism by parents or professionals which does not make much sense to me. Wouldn’t it be supreme to read books about Autism written by Autistic people? At the very least; books heavily influenced by the Autistic perspective and experience?



There are so many simple facts about Autism that people need to learn from Autistic people.


#1. It is systematic.

#2. There are many subsets within the Autism Spectrum.

#3. There are many co-morbid conditions. Conditions that are separate from Autism and it’s traits.

#4. It is a lifelong condition to be understood and supported.

#5. Understanding Autism must come through connections with Autistic people and Autistic professionals. (I personally refer to this as, innerstanding!)

#6. Understanding Autism starts with accepting it as a natural human way of being.

#7. Each person on the Autism Spectrum has a unique chemistry and will need to seek support by discovering the balance for their own chemistry. Not only physically but, on sensory and emotional levels.

#8. That the levels of support needed are fluid and fluctuate with growth, change and setback. As with all people on the larger Human Spectrum.

#9. That supports should be in place and there to always fall back on.

#10. The respect effect. Approach every situation with respect and validation.


It really isn’t as “puzzling” as people have led others to believe. Yet, it is most definitely brain science. The science that we only explore when we believe something is “wrong” with a brain. When in reality, society as a whole should be understanding what differing brainstyles need to feel healthy, accepted and supported.  We need to honor that the human brain is indeed superbly unique and individual on it’s own “right.” Many similarities and many differences. Studying Autism and the variety of human brain styles uncover so much about being human. Many simple things that humanity has chosen to forget in favor of today’s overly complicated pace. Think beyond the outdated ’norm’…






~Read books from Autistic authors and publishers atAutonomous Press!  


~Look for Steve Silberman’s cutting edge book -”Neuro Tribes: the Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity!


~Read “Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism” by Barry M. Prizant


~Ask your public library to carry books by Autistic authors!


~Support or create Autistic lending libraries!




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Progressive Connections

parrotsIn 2015 we are so connected.
Finally, we can chat with our out of state OR international family and friends being connected to whomever we desire just about whenever we desire. It’s awesome.


In the Community surrounding Autistic people this has been BEYOND awesome. It has been groundbreaking. Instead of merely sitting in the dark, wondering what other people are experiencing we can actually connect and share our unique and bright ideas that evolve from and revolve around AUTISM.
Autistic people being able to connect with other Autistic people? Beyond brilliant !! Non Autistic people and (parents of other Autistic people) allowed to hear the voices of Autistic people? Incredibly enlightening, useful, loving and entertaining!!


YET, many people willfully refuse to take advantage of these progressive, brilliant connections and remain in the dark. IF a non profit organization was formed 10 yrs. ago when we were not at all connected with Autistic people and the experiential enlightenment they share, why wouldn’t that “premiere” organization update it’s mission 10 yrs. later? Why wouldn’t it move forward with the times to reflect this new technological change in progressive connections we now enjoy?


 The Autistic voice we can NOW see, feel, hear and touch, just a mouse click away.


We can OVERLOAD our senses in the Autistic voice (ironically) if we desire to.


Yet this 10 yr. old company that formed expressly to SPEAK for Autistic people proclaiming to everyone else in the world that “it was time to listen,” continues to only hear the VOICE of the Non Autistic parents of Autistic people and their desires. Not the actual words and desires spoken of by Autistic people.  (Ironically evil.)


It’s a disgrace and a shame to the community.


Some of us had a glimmer of hope  upon hearing about this month’s change in management at Autism Speaks. A new CEO has been named this month as the founder steps down and the first quotes we see from the new regime reinforce the 10 yr. old outdated mission. “Autism Speaks will continue to drive a leadership agenda around the issues that matter most to parents.” Same bat time, same bat channel.
The agenda will remain non Autistic and parent driven. Parent’s that for the most part do not connect with Autistic adults in the world. Parents that continue to pathologize Autism and would like to see it disappear. People continuing to travel the AutismHWY in the dark. No understanding that Autism is part of humanity on a genetic level. No Autistic friends or consultants providing Autistic GPS. No new state of  the art experiential Autism information lighting the way.


Sadly and apparently NO progressive connections at AUTISM SPEAKS.


AutismHWY willfully chooses to drive forward connecting to Autistic people and listening to their progressive enlightened voices.  JOIN US, won’t YOU!



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Filling in the Blanks




As a mom to an incredibly cool Autistic teen I do this a lot. Fill in the blanks. The blanks in thinking that my neurotypical mind had never considered before giving birth to my Autistic son! Perhaps, that is why the infamous puzzle piece was assigned to Autism decades ago. People weren’t and still don’t fully ‘get it’ when it comes to what being Autistic means. How Autism is an integral part of a person. How it shifts a person’s perceptions, physically and mentally. How can we be expected to innerstand one and other’s thought processes and sensory issues without help from each other? Autistic people and non Autistic people come from differing points of view. One mind set cannot transform the other, and shouldn’t. Even if it was possible! I feel that Autism has  become the focal point in aiding society to re-embrace that ancient knowing. The knowing that we are all from the same human family yet, we are all genetic originals and we act accordingly. Through technology we have the proof of this written into our own DNA codes. When it comes to considering the Autism Spectrum this concept should be from where we all begin.DSCN2169


Communication and thinking are rapidly evolving. Wrapping our brains around the inherent different communication and perception styles we all have is the key. Within this “thinking evolution” we are moving toward a new freedom. The freedom of fully understanding and embracing how integral these differences in people are and have been for humanity all along.

I fill in the blanks by speaking with my Autistic friends.  No, not the kids in the morning circle at my son’s day camp or the students I have come to know through his years at school. Autistic adult friends whom I  have come to know and respect as equals.  Friends I have made on-line and in real life!  Not assigned friends but, true friends. Friends I love and treasure more than people I have known my entire life. Friends that have enabled me an astounding glimpse into Autism and of life itself. The perspective that does not come naturally to my mind. The perspectives from their brains. The natural perspective of my non speaking son’s brain. Fascinating and life changing. It is an amazing thing; being so connected to a child without spoken words. Feeling so close to that child yet, just not able to fully comprehend all you would like to. It’s an even more amazing thing when the perspectives of Autistic people aid you in that regard by filling in the blanks! Putting words to what was sensed and experienced. Absolutely opening your eyes to something completely unconsidered. Rounding out the reasons things occur, or don’t occur. That’s the ”whole picture” perspective Autistic people proudly bring to the world and to the parents of other Autistics.IMG_0546


Talk about lighting up neurons!! This is why I so passionately defend and try to amplify the voice and experiences of my Autistic friends. I know how crucial their information is and just how valuable it can be to the masses. How life changing it can be for parents trapped in their own pity and grief. Most importantly how life-changing for the Autistic children of these parents still focusing on their pain and a perceived societal shame. This is why I become so frustrated when parents and organizations dismiss my friends beliefs and words with such disrespect. Autistic people have spent years trying to have their voices added to the conversation about Autism. The conversation about their own lives.


The most glaring example is Autism Speaks, the fully funded, most advertised Autism organization out here. An organization that decided to speak for people they don’t speak to. If you have followed this blog you have seen the current Boycott of Autism Speaks and that site HERE. Autistic people have asked Autism Speaks to consider their varied concerns  repeatedly. SILENCE…is all they seem to receive. Silence that we do not see as golden! Autism Speaks presumes to support all people on the Autism Spectrum yet they are at odds with Autistic adults and have been for many years. Ironically using the slogan that it is “time to listen.” I continue to ask myself how this ridiculous irony is not a well known fact? That the world’s largest Autism organization will not address Autistic people, their concerns or their boycott. Long unwilling to share the AutismHWY with the  passionate Autistic people driving the neurodiversity movement. Great people tirelessly working toward erasing the stigmas assigned to their lives by society and most certainly Autism Speaks marketing practices. Working together to gain civil rights and through their writings teach parents to nurture and do no harm to the Autistic generations to come! It is time for Autism Speaks and everyone else to listen to the great insights of our friends on the spectrum !


Is there anyone that needs to fill in the blanks more than AUTISM SPEAKS??…. would love to see Autism Speaks fill in the blanks! would love to see Autism Speaks fill in the blanks!


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