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Spammed by Negative Autism Rhetoric

We all receive our fair share of spam, which really doesn’t seem fair at all!  The never ending world of millionaires, Russian prostitutes, and hungry investors juxtaposed with  Viagra and watch salesmen. I have to admit, it is a crazy carnival world I have conjured up in my mind. A world where you know it’s a scam but, you just don’t care, everyone  goes there anyway. LOL The ultimate evolution of the snake oil salesmen through out our human history.  SPAM. Talk about the unexpected places the internet can take your brain!  Today someone else joined those strange people in my virtual trash pile. I was SPAMMED with  Negative Autism Rhetoric messages!  Yikes. Sadly, I get that enough in real life. Now they have joined the trashy carnival in my inbox? Look at this gem, I opened today courtesy of ”Sherry” at



The first two sentences are the riddle wrapped inside of an enigma rhetoric designed to keep you “off balance”….You’re child was just diagnosed, here let us pull the rug out from underneath your feet and spin you around and tell you it’s a mystery! Sensory issues for the whole family…enjoy!


The second paragraph is a doozy as well. Putting fear and doubt into any natural instinct a parent has to read their own child’s needs. It informs you that scientists and clinicians want your child in a program pronto. Sending the message to you that you do not know your own child and that you need to listen to them, if and when they figure out if your child is Autistic…hurry up and panic!


Then they drop the bombs…confused, worried and frustrated…hopes get shattered, dreams get crushed and for the N.A.R. coup de gras ” an eternity of confusion and pain.” Why thank you, thank you very much, I am looking forward to that!


The barrage of questions…sand hand

with no answers given…


Oh yes, finally the obligatory reminder that they have only scratched the surface when it comes to the questions you will want answered. Amping up your anxiety nicely. Plus the confusing mistake of referring to the parent of an Autistic as an “Autistic parent!” Unanswered questions that might cross an Autistic parents mind? ~Not too many...NEWSFLASH: Autistic parents understand their Autistic children Better than neurotypical parents do!  If you’re going to spam us get your story straight!


My son is now 15 and I am somewhat immune to this type of Negative Autism Rhetoric that is so prevalent in society. People are so quick to look the other way when they see it or they allow N.A.R.  to go completely over their heads. Others reach into their wallets to make it go away, allowing it to continue filtering through society sending it’s horrid message. It’s insipid message informing parents you need “US” to fix your broken child. Spend your dollars “here” to make the pain and agony of all of these questions disappear. Parents of Autistic kids are often silent about it and others still work for companies that routinely use N.A.R., believing they are still doing good things for Autistic people. (?)


Negative rhetoric is always used for one reason and one reason alone. Control. Think about all of the ways: to control a population’s ideals, to control the outcomes of elections and promotions, to assert supremacy, incite bigotry and to raise funds.  In the case of Autism it’s also used to erode the bond between parents and their children. Many will want you to believe it is for the health and benefit of the child. I am here to tell you that, that is not always the case. Telling a parent that they will never understand their child is a load of crap. (sorry to be so indelicate.) Kind of.


If you want to market to us strategies and supports that our children and family members can use to be successful, then do it.  STOP telling us all of the misconceptions you have about our lives in order to influence us. STOP using your disgusting Negative Autism Rhetoric. Stop harming Autistic people’s images and lives with your assertions. Market to us with respect, dignity and pride. My grandmother always said, “you can catch a lot more flies with honey than you can with vinegar!”


Market Respect, Love, Acceptance and PRIDE.

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5 Responses to “Spammed by Negative Autism Rhetoric”

  1. Rich says:

    People First language, please. There are no “autistic people” or “autistic parents” (WTF? Seriously?) any more than there are “cancerous people” or “cancerous parents”. There are people with autism, and parents of people with autism. Pretty simple, reallly.

  2. kelly says:

    You are sadly mistaken Rich. There are thousands upon thousands of Autistic people that are Autistic parents of Autistic children. Do you have a problem with that?

  3. Jennifer says:

    Rich, I’m autistic. I prefer you DON’T use person-first language, as do many autistic adults. I am Jennifer. Not Jennifer with a side of autism… nor am I Jennifer with caucasianess or Jennifer with femaleness or Jennifer with redheadedness. I’m a caucasian female who happens to be a natural redhead. These are adjectives, just as autistic happens to be. Autism is how my brain processes sensory input and output. It’s the neurological difference in my brain wiring and number of synapses. It’s not a disease, like cancer. It’s pervasive in every portion of my life and I can’t leave it at home or switch it off when I choose, nor can I ever NOT be autistic. It has an effect on how I make every decision, how I communicate, and pretty much everything I do. So yes, I’m autistic.

    And there are autistic parents… people who are autistic and parents. Parents who have autistic children are commonly referred to as autism parents, including by people who insist on person-first language, which boggles my mind… because shouldn’t “parent” be placed before “autism” if – as you insist – the person should be placed before the condition?

    Pretty simple, really.

  4. Kassiane says:

    I doubt the dude meant autistic parents. We are all children after all. And, sir person first, address the content or shush. Do your research.

  5. People-first language applied to autistic people is simply wrong. Inaccurate and misleading. We do not “have” autism. We*are* autistic. I am autistic in the same way that I am English and that I am heterosexual. I do not have Englishness or suffer from heterosexuality. Those who insist that we are “people with autism” simply reveal that they have not even begun to understand what being autistic is all about.

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